When Depression Becomes a Loop
You've tried to fix it. Fight it. Think your way out of it. Maybe you've tried medications, lifestyle changes, positive thinking, therapy. Sometimes things improve for a while. Then it returns.
What if the way you've been approaching depression is actually part of what keeps it going?
Here's something most people never consider: your assumptions about what depression IS determine everything that follows. If you assume it's a disorder—something wrong with you—then you'll try to eliminate it. You'll fight it. You'll feel like a failure when it returns.
But what if depression isn't pathology? What if it's an evolutionary signal—a mechanism that's trying to tell you something important?
This changes everything. Instead of fighting the messenger, you listen to the message. Instead of trying to eliminate the feeling, you extract the value from it. Instead of war with yourself, collaboration.
Recognising What's Actually Happening
What most people call "depression" is actually several things conflated together:
The Raw Signal
Low energy, flatness, withdrawal. The actual evolutionary signal—uncomfortable but functional. This is data.
The Self-Critical Thoughts
"What's wrong with me?" "Why can't I just be normal?" "I'm so weak." The interpretation you add to the signal.
The Shame and Despair
The secondary emotions that follow the self-critical thoughts. Often more painful than the original signal.
The Conflation
It all happens so fast that you experience it as one thing called "depression." You don't see the separate components.
Most of the suffering lives in what you add to the signal—not in the signal itself. The shame, the despair, the self-attack. That's where the real pain happens.
And here's the key: what you add is optional. It can be changed.
The Signal Approach
This approach doesn't try to eliminate depression. It separates what's functional from what's optional suffering.
The Signal Arises
Low energy, flatness, withdrawal. Instead of treating this as evidence of defect, we recognise it as information.
We Separate the Components
Distinguishing the raw signal from the self-critical thoughts and the shame that follows. Seeing them as separate things.
We Explore the Message
What might need to change? What might have changed that needs processing? What is this signal pointing toward?
We Take Action
Based on what the signal is telling us. Often small adjustments. The signal naturally reduces when its message is received.
We Build the New Pattern
Each time this works, we're conditioning a new automatic response. Eventually, shame can't activate because the interpretation that feeds it is gone.
The Counterintuitive Truth
You may never eliminate the raw signal—and you don't need to. It's functional. What you can eliminate is most of the suffering around it. The shame. The despair. The self-attack. That's optional. And when it's gone, depression becomes something entirely different: just a signal, easily heard, quickly addressed.
What We Actually Do in Sessions
This is a focused, practical process. Not endless exploration of feelings. Not just talking. Actual skill-building that changes how you relate to internal experience.
Understand Your Pattern
How does your depression actually work? What triggers it? What do you add to it? Where does most of the suffering live?
Learn to Separate Components
Building the skill of distinguishing signal from interpretation from secondary emotion. Slowing down what usually happens in milliseconds.
Practice the New Response
Real-time practice of responding to signals differently. Each repetition strengthens the new pattern.
Get Value for Your Pain
If you're going to experience discomfort anyway, get a good exchange rate for it. Extract maximum value from every signal. Make sure the pain is worth something.
Build Long-Term Change
Conditioning a new automatic response until shame literally can't activate—because the interpretation it needs is no longer present.
The goal isn't to never feel low. It's to feel low without the avalanche of shame and self-attack. Clean pain without dirty pain. And when pain is unavoidable, get the best possible exchange rate—make sure every difficult experience leaves you with something valuable.
How I Work
I work integratively, drawing on cognitive-behavioural, acceptance-based, and compassion-focused approaches. But the core framework here is specific: treating depression as signal rather than pathology, and systematically reducing the optional suffering that gets layered on top.
This Complements Other Treatment
If you're taking medication, continue taking it. If you're working with a GP or psychiatrist, continue working with them. This approach isn't either/or. It addresses a dimension that medication doesn't touch: how you interpret and respond to what you're experiencing.
Sessions are structured and practical. We're not going to endlessly analyse your childhood or talk in circles. We're going to build specific skills and condition specific responses. You should notice changes.
What Actually Changes
When this work is successful, here's what shifts:
- Low moods still arise, but they don't trigger the cascade of shame and despair.
- You respond to signals with curiosity rather than self-attack.
- Recovery from low periods is faster—days instead of weeks.
- You stop thinking of yourself as "a depressed person."
- The suffering reduces dramatically—often 80% or more of what you were experiencing.
- Eventually, you may forget you ever struggled with this. It becomes a fact about your past, not a feature of your present.
This takes time. Months of practice. But the shift is progressive—you don't wait until the end to feel better. Each week tends to be better than the last.
Common Questions
The "chemical imbalance" theory is more contested in current research than popular understanding suggests. But even if brain chemistry is involved, the question remains: why did evolution build brains that do this? Understanding the function doesn't conflict with also addressing the chemistry.
Severe symptoms need comprehensive support—potentially including medication, intensive therapy, and other interventions. This approach can work alongside those. But it's not a replacement for crisis care if you're in crisis.
Not at all. The signal is real. The feelings are real. What this approach addresses is what you add to those real experiences—the interpretation and secondary suffering that often cause more pain than the original signal.
Meaningful shifts often happen within weeks. Deeper, automatic change typically takes months. The full reconditioning—where shame becomes almost impossible to activate—can take a year or more of practice. But you're not waiting until the end to feel better.
No. Any decisions about medication should be made with your prescribing doctor. This approach works alongside medication—it addresses different dimensions of the problem.
Yes. With a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP, you can access Medicare rebates for up to 10 sessions per calendar year. Most private health funds also provide rebates depending on your cover.
Cammeray, on Sydney's Lower North Shore. Easy access from the North Shore, Northern Beaches, and CBD.
Quick Self-Assessment
The PHQ-9 is a validated screening tool used by clinicians worldwide. It's not a diagnosis, but it can help you understand the severity of what you're experiencing.
PHQ-9 Depression Screening
Over the last 2 weeks, how often have you been bothered by any of the following problems?
This screening tool is for informational purposes only and is not a clinical diagnosis. If you're experiencing symptoms of depression, please consult a qualified mental health professional for proper assessment.
Ready for a Different Approach?
If you've been fighting depression and it keeps returning, maybe it's time to try something different.
Book a SessionIn crisis? If you're in immediate danger or at risk of harming yourself, please call 000. For urgent support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. This page is for information only and is not a substitute for emergency care.